Ah....the 1970s!!

Watched about ten minutes of a movie called Parvarish which made me recapitulate some of the terribly cliched but oh-so-kitsch Bollywood lines from the 1970s which would invariably be repeated in every single movie made during that time. Story, plot, continuity could easily go and take a walk while these lines carried the movie and coming from Amitabh Bachchan, any word was oracle-like.

1. Driver, gaadi roko! (The car would be a Fiat in most cases (green or orange in colour) or if the person is super rich, a Merc...first would come his shiny pointed shoes, then his white bell bottoms and then those retro, oversized sunglasses...oh!! the sheer magic! Although the standards of living have moved ahead by miles, probably by light years in Bollywood...these stupid actors will invariably drive on their own..no matter what the car and how rich...idiots! ek aur character actor ke pet mein laath!)

2. Isse dawa ki nahin, dua ki zaroorat hain...dua kijiye!! (This is a sociological comment on the medical profession in India at the time and how doctors were often unable to handle sensitive cases. This is also a take on the whole faith question that Bollywood has now adopted as her pet theme ...whether you are a doctor or a farmer, the importance of dua and bhagwan can never be undermined!! Added to this are eternal truths like 'choubees ghante ka waqt hain', 'ab sab upar walein ke haath mein hain' and 'bachche ko toh humne bacha liya par ma.....' )

3. Inspector sahab!! Isse giraftaar kar li jiye!! (Please note that the 1970s was the period when the Indian Police Service was glorified. Their uprightness and honesty were above question with actors like Ifthikar playing a police inspector/commissioner- his position in the Bollywood police hierarchy was often directly proportional to his age whereas protagonists like Amitabh Bachchan and Vinod Khanna were always cast as police inspectors because they were always, you know, aged under 30. Compare it to the Bollywood police of today, no respectable actor in the 21st century would dare to play a policeman...if they do, they will call it a challenging role..not only because the role is difficult but the stereotypes the said actor has to fight!! So low is the confidence on the police that kanoon is often taken apne haath mein by the likes of the RDB boys!! Bring back Ifthikar I say..)

5. Raam Raam Kaka ...(The most common and endearing form of greeting in Bollywood is now lost..The overtly thin, supremely old, dhoti clad, toothless smiling kaka has given way to uncles in business suits and hawaiian shirts who only respond to wassup??)

6. Heere kahaan chhupaya hain?? ( Self explanatory when followed by "Boss, maal pakda gaya!)

7. Ghar mein do-do jawaan betiyaan hain (This dialogue delivered by my father....a really funny sight!!)

8. Gawaaon ke bayaan aur sabooton ko madde nazar rakhte hue, mujrim ko dafaa 302 ke tahet, sazaa-e maut sunaye jaati hain... (No wonder the death penalty will never be abolished in India given its representation in pop culture..In other words, a 'mujrim ko ba-izzat bari kiya jaata hain' in movies would be friggin' sweeet!)

9. Aye ji sunte ho, aap bade woh ho!! (Since one never quite understood what 'woh' means, Bollywood has become more explicit and decided to call a spade and spade without all the cute talkin')

10. Maine tere liye kheer banaya hain beta (with proverbial tear in the eyes) - Unfortunately, no mom makes kheer these days nor do kids like it too much, especially when fondue is available in the nearest restaurant!

11. No I haven't forgotten this....

MAIN TUMHARE BACHCHE KI MAA BAN NE WAALI HOON

This is still true in Bollywood, except that these tear jerkers are now called Salaam Namaste or Kya Kehna and they will always get someone urbane like Preity Zinta to play these parts who will carry the baby alright but cannot, for the life of her, carry off these legendary lines...what a shame!

and the last one for today (I read this on the web...ROFL)

12. Pesh hain shahar ki jaani maani kalakaar, Miss. Renu

These Miss. Renu type roles will almost always go to Bindu, Helen or Aruna Irani and let me tell you, they won't just be nightingales with a mike on a stage addressing a family audience because their bhai is under the kabza of the proverbial kutta-kameena (In Bollywood, a dog and a depraved person are one and the same...always).

This list is endless but I shall end the post. Oh..how I love the 1970s. I swear I would do anything to turn back time and turn Ekta Kapoor into Manmohan Desai or Karan Johar into Prakash Mehra while Yash Chopra still remains!!